I wrote this post in late September 2013. I never posted it because (like all the other posts I've written, but never published) I was waiting until I had found coordinating pictures for the post. Then, of course, I forget about the post and 6+ months go by and nothing gets done with it. So here it is:
Two weekends ago, my parents came into town to go to a genealogy seminar with me (more on that later). In one of the classes, the speaker prompted us to see our ancestors in all of their seasons. She was referring to exploring where and how they lived throughout the years, so more of a literal "season" meaning. But it got me thinking it would be good to examine the figurative seasons of their lives as well, which of course got me thinking about my future posterity examining the figurative seasons of my OWN life (because I'm self-centered like that).
So what seasons have I been through in my life? I guess they could be grouped in different ways. There's the school seasons, the geographical seasons, the spiritual seasons, the friend seasons, the family seasons, and so on. (And now the word "seasons" sounds incredibly strange to me because I've said it way too much in my head while writing this post.)
I'm always up for some good self-reflection, so let's examine the current season of my life, shall we?
School: Last August I graduated from college. After roughly 20 years of formal schooling (public school and private university education), it felt quite nice not to have the stress of impending deadlines and tests looming over me. I thought I would go on for my master's a year later, but a year later here I sit un-mastered in my home office, content as could be for the time being. Husband, however, is learning for the first time what those particular college stresses feel like and he's handling it like a champ. Especially considering he's a full time student and a full time business owner at the same time. Impressive. One day I'll probably get a higher degree of some sort, but man oh man, does this no school gig feel great right now.
Geographical: I'm living back in Texas for the first time in 7 years and it's 98% marvelous. After graduation, husband and I knew we would go back to Texas because, obviously, but we wanted some sort of adventure. So we picked a place neither of us had spent more than a week in and went for it. San Antonio has proven to be a hidden miracle for work as it gave us the opportunity to be the exclusive dealers for our line of work (does my ambiguity make us sound like drug dealers?). It's a perfect 4 hour drive from our parents which is close enough for a long weekend trip, but far enough that we are able to establish ourselves as a completely independent entity. It's got everything a sane person could want (read: a sane person clearly would not want mountains or snow) except for fall. This is the 2% where San Antonio falls short. I miss Autumn terribly. We get 11 months of spring/summer down here and a month off and on of "winter." But no fall to speak of. But let's not end on such a sad note. Need I remind you that San Antonio is home of the Alamo? Can't get more Texan than that. Or how about SeaWorld, home of Shamu? Nevermind that I've never been. The mere fact that it's here makes this a happy place.
Spiritual: I'm in a pretty good place right now with lots of room for improvement. Husband and I have gone through periods of slacking spiritually from time in our marriage (and lives, let's be honest), but we're doing pretty well right now. I teach Sunday School for the 12-13 yr olds and Skylar teaches Mission Prep. I learn a lot as I prepare and teach, though it's mostly about the psychology of young teenagers, which I'm sure will help me down the road. I leave church feeling uplifted every week, which is more indicative of how I'M doing rather than how well the speakers and teachers taught their lessons. While testimonies are always to be a work in progress, I finally feel like I'm in maintenance mode rather than building mode. Maybe that's a bad thing to feel that way? It feels good to me. And though there are always improvements to be made in the primary areas (prayer, scripture study, etc), I feel like I'm starting to become myself. I'm understanding who I am and I'm good with it.
Friends: This is an interesting one. I still claim to have two best friends (besides husband, of course), but I only talk to one once every couple months just to catch up on the biggies in life, and I talk to the other one even less. I'm actually making friends down here in SA though, which is almost a first in a long time for me. I haven't MADE new, good friends in years. We've got the Bushai (a term of endearment for them), whom we spend most of our "friends time" with. Joey is a long time friend from Joshua and Chanel is a newer, but just as good friend. We've got Marcus (one of our friends and sales reps) living with us, so obviously we spend a lot of time with him. And I'm starting to actually become friends and do things with a lot of women in the ward. Oh, and we've got Tristan (the bro-in-law) living just down the road, but does he count in the friends category?
Family (warning: the following paragraph might be too personal?): This one might be my favorite season. Just over 3 years ago, I set off to start my own tiny family consisting of husband and me. We've experienced A LOT in our short marriage so far, but it's always an adventure. Even with all the hard times we've navigated, these 3 years have been my favorite, "just the two of us" (figuratively speaking since we almost always have someone living with us). But we finally feel like the time is right for it not to be just the two of us anymore. This transition has been interesting for me. I've never been one to love kids unless they were related to me, and even then it was debatable. But I've always known that one day I would be a mother and that's what I would "do" with my life. When we got married, I was a little repulsed by all the people popping out babies right away. Then after we'd been married for a couple years, I lost the repulsion and became indifferent to those around me having babies. I'd hardly been to any baby showers for anyone that wasn't related to me because I just didn't care. I knew one day it would be my turn, and I hoped my feelings would change so that I was having kids because I wanted to and not because I felt obligated to. About 6 months ago, husband and I were having yet another discussion about WHEN to start having babies. We finally settled on the summer of 2014 as being the earliest acceptable time to have our first child. That meant this fall was "go time." After that decision was made, I kept hoping that my feelings would indeed change so that my decision lined up with my desires. Lo and behold, I think God really does want me to have babies because my attitude is right where it needs to be. I don't know if I'm finally just ready for kids and our timing lined up, or if my desire grew because I set a date for myself and my brain decided to match it. Either way I'm glad to know that children will be had because I wanted them and not just because I felt like I was supposed to. So I guess all I'm trying to say is that I'm (hopefully) coming to a close on the longest season of my life to date (that of being childless) and am about to begin a new season that will last the rest of my life. It'll be another adventure.
Two weekends ago, my parents came into town to go to a genealogy seminar with me (more on that later). In one of the classes, the speaker prompted us to see our ancestors in all of their seasons. She was referring to exploring where and how they lived throughout the years, so more of a literal "season" meaning. But it got me thinking it would be good to examine the figurative seasons of their lives as well, which of course got me thinking about my future posterity examining the figurative seasons of my OWN life (because I'm self-centered like that).
So what seasons have I been through in my life? I guess they could be grouped in different ways. There's the school seasons, the geographical seasons, the spiritual seasons, the friend seasons, the family seasons, and so on. (And now the word "seasons" sounds incredibly strange to me because I've said it way too much in my head while writing this post.)
I'm always up for some good self-reflection, so let's examine the current season of my life, shall we?
School: Last August I graduated from college. After roughly 20 years of formal schooling (public school and private university education), it felt quite nice not to have the stress of impending deadlines and tests looming over me. I thought I would go on for my master's a year later, but a year later here I sit un-mastered in my home office, content as could be for the time being. Husband, however, is learning for the first time what those particular college stresses feel like and he's handling it like a champ. Especially considering he's a full time student and a full time business owner at the same time. Impressive. One day I'll probably get a higher degree of some sort, but man oh man, does this no school gig feel great right now.
Geographical: I'm living back in Texas for the first time in 7 years and it's 98% marvelous. After graduation, husband and I knew we would go back to Texas because, obviously, but we wanted some sort of adventure. So we picked a place neither of us had spent more than a week in and went for it. San Antonio has proven to be a hidden miracle for work as it gave us the opportunity to be the exclusive dealers for our line of work (does my ambiguity make us sound like drug dealers?). It's a perfect 4 hour drive from our parents which is close enough for a long weekend trip, but far enough that we are able to establish ourselves as a completely independent entity. It's got everything a sane person could want (read: a sane person clearly would not want mountains or snow) except for fall. This is the 2% where San Antonio falls short. I miss Autumn terribly. We get 11 months of spring/summer down here and a month off and on of "winter." But no fall to speak of. But let's not end on such a sad note. Need I remind you that San Antonio is home of the Alamo? Can't get more Texan than that. Or how about SeaWorld, home of Shamu? Nevermind that I've never been. The mere fact that it's here makes this a happy place.
Spiritual: I'm in a pretty good place right now with lots of room for improvement. Husband and I have gone through periods of slacking spiritually from time in our marriage (and lives, let's be honest), but we're doing pretty well right now. I teach Sunday School for the 12-13 yr olds and Skylar teaches Mission Prep. I learn a lot as I prepare and teach, though it's mostly about the psychology of young teenagers, which I'm sure will help me down the road. I leave church feeling uplifted every week, which is more indicative of how I'M doing rather than how well the speakers and teachers taught their lessons. While testimonies are always to be a work in progress, I finally feel like I'm in maintenance mode rather than building mode. Maybe that's a bad thing to feel that way? It feels good to me. And though there are always improvements to be made in the primary areas (prayer, scripture study, etc), I feel like I'm starting to become myself. I'm understanding who I am and I'm good with it.
Friends: This is an interesting one. I still claim to have two best friends (besides husband, of course), but I only talk to one once every couple months just to catch up on the biggies in life, and I talk to the other one even less. I'm actually making friends down here in SA though, which is almost a first in a long time for me. I haven't MADE new, good friends in years. We've got the Bushai (a term of endearment for them), whom we spend most of our "friends time" with. Joey is a long time friend from Joshua and Chanel is a newer, but just as good friend. We've got Marcus (one of our friends and sales reps) living with us, so obviously we spend a lot of time with him. And I'm starting to actually become friends and do things with a lot of women in the ward. Oh, and we've got Tristan (the bro-in-law) living just down the road, but does he count in the friends category?
Family (warning: the following paragraph might be too personal?): This one might be my favorite season. Just over 3 years ago, I set off to start my own tiny family consisting of husband and me. We've experienced A LOT in our short marriage so far, but it's always an adventure. Even with all the hard times we've navigated, these 3 years have been my favorite, "just the two of us" (figuratively speaking since we almost always have someone living with us). But we finally feel like the time is right for it not to be just the two of us anymore. This transition has been interesting for me. I've never been one to love kids unless they were related to me, and even then it was debatable. But I've always known that one day I would be a mother and that's what I would "do" with my life. When we got married, I was a little repulsed by all the people popping out babies right away. Then after we'd been married for a couple years, I lost the repulsion and became indifferent to those around me having babies. I'd hardly been to any baby showers for anyone that wasn't related to me because I just didn't care. I knew one day it would be my turn, and I hoped my feelings would change so that I was having kids because I wanted to and not because I felt obligated to. About 6 months ago, husband and I were having yet another discussion about WHEN to start having babies. We finally settled on the summer of 2014 as being the earliest acceptable time to have our first child. That meant this fall was "go time." After that decision was made, I kept hoping that my feelings would indeed change so that my decision lined up with my desires. Lo and behold, I think God really does want me to have babies because my attitude is right where it needs to be. I don't know if I'm finally just ready for kids and our timing lined up, or if my desire grew because I set a date for myself and my brain decided to match it. Either way I'm glad to know that children will be had because I wanted them and not just because I felt like I was supposed to. So I guess all I'm trying to say is that I'm (hopefully) coming to a close on the longest season of my life to date (that of being childless) and am about to begin a new season that will last the rest of my life. It'll be another adventure.
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